Effect Of Divorce On Children - What Children Feel Under Such Situations



The effect of divorce on children is a sad one indeed. Divorce is an undesirable visitor in happy families and homes, and the only time it rears its ugly head (or the mention thereof) is when husband and wife drift further and further separate from each other without proper communication. Often, cheating is the main reason why husbands and wives go their separate ways, but other factors like money, suspicion, mistrust, and deceptive marriages from the outset cause husbands and wives to breakup. Money could be a reason: very often, husbands and wives are young partners who barely have enough money to pay off the bills and are barely getting by. College and Grad School debt could be responsible for a divorce, as one spouse takes two jobs to cover their loans and their spouse's loans.

Kids are usually angry when their parents divorce. They do not understand why the break up happened (which confuses them), and they are upset that they could do little about it. They experience sorrow and mourn the fact that their parents' marriage has come to nothing. They are distressed because they have an instinctive sense that life from that moment forward will be "different around the house," though they cannot understand all that this concept entails. They are aggressive, and they carry that out on just about anyone they can. Children often turn out to be bullies because of divorce and seek to put down and degrade younger children or same-age kids who are helpless by all appearances. For children who are divorce victims, the objective is to make other individuals feel their pain.

Children very often experience interpersonal turmoil. They are at war within themselves and do not know how to develop a healthy self-esteem. At one moment, they like who they are; the next, they have no clue who they are or dislike themselves completely. Many of them would like to change their names, their families, or get away from the town they live in so that they can avoid the disgrace of being a divorce child. They often feel ashamed of their identity and would prefer not to hang around their old pals (social adjustment difficulty). They do not want their parents' break up to be constantly brought before them to know how does divorce affect children.

Low academic performance is yet another short-term effect of divorce on children. Often, youngsters who have performed well usually tend to let their grades slump considerably when dealing with a divorce. School, once important to them, gets to be unimportant when they must choose to handle both 1) their emotions and grief over the divorce or 2) their education. The signs and symptoms of divorce children are similar to symptoms experienced in depression patients over a long-term period.

The long-term impact of divorce on kids includes repression of the distressing event until it surfaces later in life. Children usually undergo "the sleeper effect," where they pose nothing ever happened or act as if they were not affected by the event. Later in life, however, the feelings come back in the forms of emotional distress and mental anguish with divorce and children.

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